So I received an email yesterday from a friend saying she had been checking this blog and was worried about my sister's situation because I hadn't posted anything in so long. This was the kick in the ass I needed to make me think about and address this issue. So, in line with my new resolution regarding posting to this blog (see below), I'm going to make this easy for myself and just post a portion of the email I sent her in reply:
Yeah, the blog... the truth is that the whole notion of posting to it became somehow terribly oppressive to me. Your email made me think about that for a bit and I realized that what I was doing was spending too much time each day thinking about what I was going to post and what I needed to do to make it good. This necessitated me thinking way too much than I could emotionally afford about the Whole Situation every day. So, I just stopped thinking about it [the blog], as self-preservation, which had the knock-on effect of me stopping posting too.
But this morning I realize I don't have to operate the thing that way. I could just use the blog the way it *should* be used... just to keep people who are interested updated. I don't have to spend time thinking about how to "post well". I just need to provide news as I get it. (Which is another issue... my sister has somewhat the same aversion I have to thinking about it Too Much so sometimes it is hard to get news out of her... more frustration for me... but never mind.)
So I will post briefly to it again today and try to just "post easily" as news comes in.
But, briefly, she leaves the hospital this morning after what we hope will be her final chemo week at least until after the operation. She had a slight issue with a tiny clot around her PICC line which briefly threatened to delay the operation (currently still scheduled for Nov 19), but that seems to have resolved itself to the satisfaction of the doctors.
But as I told my sister... we have already learned that we have to remain fast on our feet, ready to go left or right on a dime should circumstances warrant it. All we can really say is: "This is the way things stand today."
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